A friend of mine thought of making a sign with a green side that reads “Getting Lucky Tonight” and a red side that reads “Not Getting Lucky Tonight” as an inspirational tool for encouraging behavioral shifts in relationships. It’s kind of like that hilarious book, Porn for Women, in which men do chores to turn women on. Works like a charm.
Intimacy, sexual intimacy specifically, requires the establishment of safety and comfort. When people are kind, caring, present and attentive during sex, everyone has a better time. Just think of the encounters you’ve had. Was it rude and dismissive comments that seduced you? Or was it sweet and heartfelt whispers that made you swoon? Research indicates that the top 5 qualities that make someone sexy are confidence, kindness, stability, abs (duh) and leadership. We even see popular culture showing more examples of attractive and sweet sex symbols. Just check out any Nicolas Sparks movie.
So the next time you want to spice up your love life, add a little sugar to the loving kindness and watch what happens. After all, even the bible says, “The desire of a man is his kindness.”